In alignment with SAMHIN’s mission to foster open dialogue about mental health within the South Asian community and highlight the meaningful contributions of those advancing this work, we invited Charlie Rao, MS, LPC, who has experience helping caregivers facing stress, to share her thoughts about caregiving within South Asian families.
Caregiving is a universal human experience, but how it is lived and understood can vary across cultures. In my clinical work and life experience, I have seen that caregiving within South Asian families often reflects deep empathy and resilience — shaped by strong family bonds, shared responsibility, and long-standing values around care for one another.
In many South Asian families, caregiving is not openly or clearly discussed, yet responsibilities often take shape through family position, proximity, and quiet expectation. While birth order can influence these dynamics, caregiving may also fall to the person who remains close to home, is emotionally available, or is gradually seen as “the dependable one.” These expectations are rarely named outright, but they become understood over time through repetition and responsibility. While such roles can bring closeness, purpose, and trust, they can also make it difficult for caregivers to step back, ask for help, or acknowledge personal limits, especially when care is closely tied to identity and responsibility.
Compared to communities where caregiving roles may be more openly divided or supported outside the family, South Asian caregivers often feel an unspoken pressure to manage quietly. Emotional strain may be minimized, and challenges such as exhaustion or feeling overwhelmed are often set aside to keep going. Many caregivers worry that naming their struggle could be misunderstood as ingratitude or a lack of commitment, even when they remain deeply invested in the well-being of their family.
Caregiving also carries an emotional dimension that is less visible. Caregivers may feel responsible not only for practical tasks, but for maintaining harmony, absorbing stress, and holding the family together. Over time, this can lead to burnout, anxiety, or a subtle loss of self — not because the care is unwanted, but because the weight of it is carried for so long without rest.
At the same time, South Asian caregivers often demonstrate remarkable empathy, patience, and adaptability. In my own experience, caregiving was both deeply challenging and deeply meaningful. There were moments when I felt stretched to my limits, unsure how much more I could hold. And yet, on the other side of that experience, I recognize how much it expanded my capacity for understanding, presence, and connection. Both truths existed at once.
What is most supportive for caregivers is not rejecting cultural values or family roles but creating space to hold the full experience — devotion alongside fatigue and purpose alongside grief. Therapy can offer caregivers a place to be seen as whole people, not just responsibilities. When empathy is extended inward as well as outward, caregiving becomes more sustainable, and its meaning can remain intact.
Suggested Caregiver Readings & Resources
Readings
Being Mortal – Atul Gawande
When the Body Says No – Gabor Maté
The Art of Extreme Self-Care – Cheryl Richardson
Resources
SAMHIN Resources
Family Caregiver Alliance
Free Tools
Xhalr — free guided breathing app to support stress reduction and emotional regulation
Insight Timer — free meditation app with a wide range of guided practices for grounding and rest
This is not an exhaustive list. There might be other tools find that resonate with you.
By Charlie Rao, MS, LPC
Charlie Rao is a licensed professional counselor and founder of Rao Counseling PLLC, where she works with caregivers and third-culture adults navigating family dynamics, cultural expectations, and life transitions.
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We invite you to share your experiences about caregiving by leaving a comment below.
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Charlie Rao wrote a very good article. There are some subjects that the South Asian community doesn’t like to talk about and this is one of them. Most of the time they suffer silently, mostly women I think.
Thank you for reading and for your thoughtful comment. These are experiences that often remain unspoken within our communities, and naming them—especially the quiet burden many women carry—is an important part of creating space for understanding and support.
Lot of insight here that applies to caregivers beyond and across community lines. An important topic that needs more attention like this.