As part of SAMHIN’s mission to encourage open conversations about mental health in the South Asian community, during this Pride Month, we invited Mahashree Portonova, a passionate advocate for mental health awareness and LGBTQ+ advocacy, to share her experiences and challenges as a mother of a gay son. Her courage in sharing her story is admirable and inspiring.
This Pride Month, I’ve been reflecting on something I can no longer ignore.
Before reading further, I invite you to watch this brief video reflection on what my son’s journey has taught me about acceptance, understanding, and letting go of expectations.
I am the mother of a gay son, and his journey has taught me many lessons about love, acceptance, and letting go of expectations. What I did not expect, however, was what would happen over the past few years.
One by one, four of the people closest to me shared that they, too, had gay children. Two of my closest friends from college opened up about their experiences. A relative who is also one of my closest friends shared the same reality. Then my best friend told me that her daughter had come out as gay.
Four families. Four parents. Four unique journeys.
What began as my own experience as the mother of a gay son slowly started to feel like something much larger. When so many of the people closest to me found themselves navigating similar paths, I stopped seeing it as a coincidence and began wondering whether life was asking me to pay attention. What had once felt like a quiet whisper now feels much more like a calling.
My son’s journey taught me something important. I had always believed that love means allowing your child to be their authentic self, but being the mother of a gay son transformed that belief from an idea into a lived experience. Like many parents, I had dreams and expectations for my child. Letting go of some of those expectations was not always easy. Yet I discovered that peace does not come from our children meeting our expectations. Peace comes from accepting them as they are.
As these parents began sharing their stories with me, I realized that their struggles were not rooted in a lack of love for their children. More often, they were grappling with fear, uncertainty, and the loss of the future they had imagined. I understand that because I have been there too.
What I have also discovered is that there are unexpected gifts waiting on the other side of that struggle. There is deeper love, greater compassion, stronger relationships, and a richer understanding of what it means to truly accept another human being.
As the years have passed, the whisper has grown louder. It feels like an invitation to speak more openly and to support other parents of LGBTQ+ children. Not because I have all the answers, but because no parent should have to walk this journey alone.
Perhaps that is why Pride Month feels different to me this year. It is not only a celebration of LGBTQ+ people. It is also a reminder that parents can grow, learn, and expand their understanding of love. We, too, can be transformed by the journey.
And that is a gift worth talking about.
By Shree Portonovo
Lifestyle Design Coach
Certified Health & Life Coach
SAMHIN volunteer
Share your Thoughts
If you are a parent of an LGBTQ+ child and would like to share your story in the comments below, I would love to hear from you. One of my hopes for speaking more openly is to help parents feel less alone and more supported as they navigate their own path toward acceptance and understanding.
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A very honest assessment.